Don't eat that mocha mousse!

For the Week of September 1, 2014
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Don't eat that mocha mousse!
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As Levi's true identity was revealed, Dante and Nathan wondered if the criminal would ever get his just desserts. Elsewhere in Port Charles, all Michael wanted was to eat his dessert. And Nina held to the adage that revenge is a dish best served cold. Grab a plate and get ready to dish in this week's Two Scoops.

Watching Ava with her tray of poisoned mocha mousses reminded me of the iocaine powder scene in the Princess Bride. I wondered which one of the mousses contained the poison and if Ava would accidentally give the poisoned one to Kiki? But alas, she didn't end up poisoning anyone, so we watched two days of nonsense poison discussion scenes for nothing.

Helena was a much more efficient poisoner. Back in the day, Helena had a ring that opened up to drop poison pills in people's tea, and my wonderful Daddy went out and found me such a ring and bought it for me as a gift. Someday when I die, my grandkids will find it and say, "Why did Nana have a ring with a secret compartment in it? Was she planning to poison someone?" and it will add to my mystery and intrigue.

Dearest readers, I really want the whole Fluke thing to end, but I know I must be patient because Tony Geary's physical recovery is more important than my impatience with an annoying storyline. But I really miss Luke, the charming scoundrel with the gleam in his eye.

Sadly, he's still tied up in Miscavige and probably being used as Heather's boy toy. (Yeah, I know she is supposed to be in jail, but we all know Heather has Houdini-like escape skills.) Rumor has it she and other favorite villains will be on hand soon, and I can hardly wait. Please say Faison is one of them! I want to watch Obrecht melt.

Not-Luke is someone else altogether, and now that we find Levi Dunkleman is really Peter Harrell Jr., one must wonder if Fluke is Peter Harrell Sr. Readers, I confess that in spite of my 36 years of GH viewing, I did not remember Peter Harrell at all and had to Google him. I did not recall he existed, and I did not recall what he looked like. He was taking up zero space in my brain. I wonder if Kristina Wagner even remembered him when they told her they were digging up a 30-year-old plotline? I don't care. I just hope it means Frisco is coming back home. His face was circled on Levi's newspaper clipping, so I have reason to dream.

Peter Harrell Jr, looks mighty fine with the short hair. Good to know his long stringy hair was just a cover for his new age hippie persona. But to be frank -- it seems to me like the writers couldn't figure out how to get out of the whole Levi debacle and said, "Hey, I know, let's tie Levi to some obscure 80s character!"

I can't imagine that the writers possibly had that story in mind when Maxie originally went on her Eat, Pray, Love trip. It seems unlikely, because how would the Harrells have known Maxie was leaving Port Charles or where she would be traveling or any of it? That's just a side point, but that story shift seemed to come out of nowhere. No clues leading up to it, no flashbacks of Peter and Felicia, no phone calls to his dad to check on progress, nothing. I was thinking Levi might be Jerry Jacks's kid, but Peter Harrell? Nope.

Dante and Nathan are working hard to break this case, but the fact is, they seem to be out of the loop on call-tracing technology. According to law enforcement officials who requested anonymity, call tracing is instantaneous. You don't have to keep someone on the phone for ten minutes, or even one minute -- a call can be traced right away. I think the PCPD needs to start spending some loot on current police technology. They probably still have that old Ice Princess computer in Anna's office.

In another plot twist, when Nina went for her pregnancy test with Britt, I expected she would be pregnant and that the baby would be Franco's, since she kept saying in the elevator that she had to get pregnant on that night. But Britt says Nina is in menopause and can't get pregnant. I didn't see that coming! I have to say, Nina had a much different reaction to that news than I did -- when my doctor told me I was beyond child-bearing years, I was elated. Never had a baby, never wanted to have a baby. But Nina does want to have a baby, and I feel bad for what she lost. But I have to wonder -- was she this certifiably mad before the coma? If so, I can see why Silas had an affair.

But, since Silas is working his way back to his crazy wife and away from Sam, I am enjoying Sam with Patrick. They have great rapport, and they both know what it means to lose the love of your life. But, of course, Robin and Jason are both alive, so any romance Patrick and Sam have will probably be short-lived. I thought I knew who Jason would be when he woke up, but now there are conflicting reports that Billy Miller is not Jason, and I don't know which sources to believe. I guess we will have to wait until he wakes up and see whose face is in that cryogenic chamber.

It's great to see Sabrina back, and I am anxiously waiting for her to find out that her precious Carlos did not kill A.J. and that he went to jail to protect her and her baby. I think once she discovers the depth of his love for her, she might give him the second chance that he honestly deserves.

Liz won't give Nikolas a second chance, and Two Scoops reader and my friend Joe Davis noted that Elizabeth wants a guy until he "commits the sin of wanting her back" then she rejects his love. I think Liz both wants love and fears love. She hasn't had the best of luck with men over the years, and while she craves it, she looks down the road and sees herself getting hurt again, so she takes a step back. In this case, I feel she is justified because Nikolas does indeed have feelings for both her and Britt, and someone will get hurt. Liz is just trying to ensure that someone isn't her.

We know something Liz doesn't, and it's more likely that Nikolas would get hurt when Ric comes back to town. Liz would dump Nik to go back to Ric in an instant. Or to Lucky if he came back to town. Or to Jason if he woke up. I think Liz lusted for Nik more than loved Nik, even at the height of their affair. (And really, who wouldn't?)

Britt, on the other hand, only loves Nikolas, and she even loves his high-spirited son, Spencer. Of course, being Britt, she is going about winning him back in the worst possible ways with deception and lies, but if she did anything else, she wouldn't be our beloved Britch.

Readers, while I don't condone Carly's behavior of sleeping with Sonny while living with Franco, I have to tell you I'd prefer Carly with Sonny because Franco as a character doesn't really move me. I love Roger Howarth. Back when the lawsuits started flying around in the ABC/Prospect Park battle, I said, "I don't care what you name him, I just want him to stay." But now, months later, I sure wish he was Todd Manning again.

The character of Franco went from being a crazed serial killer played by James Franco to a buffoon who can be outwitted by Josslyn and Spencer. Franco has no darkness or mystery or bite. While I love Howarth and absolutely want him to stay on canvas, I want the writers to write for what we know he can do. The guy can act. Write him some Emmy-worthy material. Let him soar instead of sink.

On a side note, I'd like to ask the president why he always and only makes big news announcements during the one hour that General Hospital airs? In the past few months, I would say that on the West Coast, GH has been interrupted by a news conference over a dozen times. When I heard that ABC was possibly moving GH back to its old time slot of 3:00 p.m., I rejoiced because that means it will be 6:00 p.m. on the East Coast when GH airs here, and the president will be eating dinner and not having news conferences and interrupting my show.

It's not that I don't care about the world and the tragedy spinning around -- I do care, and I see it all day long, and I just want that one hour to escape and think about my friends in Port Charles. Is that too much to ask?

What will happen tomorrow, dear readers? Will Scotty decide between Lucy and Bobbie, or will they stop waiting and go fight over Kevin Collins instead? Will Laura come to Port Charles to check in on her family when she can't reach Luke, Lucky, or Lulu? Will Michael give up eating desserts all together when he discovers he almost died for his love of fluffy mocha goodness? Will Julian convince Alexis to take him back by building her an exact replica of her lake house while wearing his boxer briefs? Will Coleman ever redeem himself and be back behind the bar? Will Uncle Mac call his WSB brother Robert to help find Maxie? Will Tracy ask Fluke why he's wearing an ascot in August? Will Maxie finally get Georgie back after the judge hears that Levi bamboozled her?

What are your thoughts on General Hospital? What did you think of this week's Two Scoops? We want to hear from you -- so drop your comments in the Comments section below, tweet about it on Twitter, share it on Facebook, or chat about it on our Message Boards.

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Two Scoops is an opinion column. The views expressed are not designed to be indicative of the opinions of Soap Central or its advertisers. The Two Scoops section allows our Scoop staff to discuss what might happen and what has happened, and to share their opinions on all of it. They stand by their opinions and do not expect others to share the same point of view.

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